Two Worlds, One Family 3
by sodomangel
Summary: This is what is happens when the little sister of State Alchemist, Edward Elric, meets Inuyasha and they end up falling in love. Don't read if u only believe in InuyashaxKagome, as it will be InuyashaxOC.
1. Chapter 1

Sodom: Ok everyone! This is not mine! All the credit for this goes to my friend Emoanimefangirl. This is her story, not mine. She doesn't hav an account on here, so I am posting it 4 her. :) Right Emo?

Emo: yeah, that's right!

Sodom: So right to this! Disclaimer! I read! Emoanimefangirl does not own these animes! Just the plot!

Two Worlds One Family

Chapter One

''Nothing's wrong!'' I screamed trying to hold back a sob. How dare he assume something was wrong? I glared at my silver haired mate. He glared back before flopping onto the couch with a sigh. I growled irritably before stomping into the kitchen.

I gripped the edges of a counter as I tried to get my emotions under control. I heard the couch and floorboards creak as Inuyasha followed me into the kitchen. I felt my breath hitch as I bit back another sob. How could this happen? Why had this happened? I felt his warm strong arms wrap around my waist and instinctively leaned into him. I felt his warm breath tickle my ear.

''It's not healthy to hold everything in. You know that.'' I nodded slowly as tears began streaming down my cheeks. Inuyasha turned me around and wiped a tear off my cheek with gentle fingers. I bit my lip as another sob threatened to break through my lips. I couldn't cry. I wouldn't cry. I didn't deserve to cry.

''I just don't feel well. I'm going to go lay down.'' I pushed past him and into our bedroom. I locked the door with alchemy and collapsed on the bed. I couldn't cry. I couldn't cry. I had no reason to cry. I reached under the blanket and closed my eyes when my fingers closed around cold metal. I pulled the scissors out of their hiding place and stared at them. The once gleaming pair of scissors was now bloodstained. How many times had I used these to cut open my arm? I turned my attention to my arm and stared at the cuts old and new. There wasn't any room for a new one. I shoved the scissors back under my pillow and hastily wiped away my tears. I plastered a fake smile on my face and left the bedroom. Maybe I could act okay for a little longer. Just a little longer…

Inuyasha was still standing in the kitchen. I stopped a few feet away and waited for him to look up. I watched as his hands curled into fists and tears fell to the floor. I wanted to comfort him but what could I do? How could I make someone feel better when I didn't want to live anymore?

''Do you think I'm stupid?'' he growled through his teeth. I wasn't surprised by his question but I looked away all the same. Even though I knew it'd been coming I still couldn't look him in the eye. I felt my own hands ball into fists.

''Inuyasha I could never think that.'' I braced myself for the fight I knew was coming. I knew one day he would confront me on this but I wasn't sure I could handle anymore heartache.

''Then why would you do something like that? You know I can smell the blood. I know what you're doing to your only limb. I know why you locked yourself in the bedroom. Why can't you just talk to me? Have you forgotten you're hurting me too? We're mates! I can feel it too! It hurts that you just can't come and talk to me!''

''You don't understand! This isn't something I can talk about!'' I was still looking away but I could feel his eyes gazing at me.

''Why not? How do you know I won't understand?'' I finally turned my gaze to Inuyasha instead of the wall. I was hurting people again. I was stuck. I couldn't do anything. I had to punish myself for hurting people but if I did I would hurt Inuyasha. Maybe he could make the pain go away. If I just told him what was going on…he might be able to make the darkness go away.

''You're not a monster like me! You don't hurt people like me! No matter where I go I hurt people! I'm always pushing people aside and hurting them for the sake of my brothers! I would do anything to get their bodies back to normal! I need to punish myself for being a horrible monster!'' Inuyasha held out his arms and I ran into them sobbing. I clutched onto his kimono and tried to stop crying. I didn't deserve to cry.

''Let it out…'' Inuyasha murmured stroking my hair. I tightened my grip on his kimono as more tears streamed down my face. Why was he letting me cry? Why was he letting a monster like me cry? He should be hitting me. I deserved to be punished. I didn't deserve comfort. No matter what I did I couldn't stop the tears from coming. I wasn't sure how long we'd stood there but eventually I managed to stop crying. Inuyasha led me to the couch and made me lay down. He bent down next to my head and stroked my cheek, ''feel better?'' I considered telling him that I was okay and that there was nothing to worry about. Even in my mind it sounded pathetic. I couldn't lie to him anymore. I shook my head and turned away.

''Why are you being so nice? I'm a monster.''

''Why shouldn't I be nice to you? You're my mate and I certainly don't think you're a monster.'' I turned to look at him. He had to be lying. He just had to be. No one could be this nice to a monster like me. His smile appeared genuine but I was still unsure. How could he just sit here and comfort me when he was aware of the things I'd done? I didn't know what I'd done to deserve him.

''I am a monster! I've done things I shouldn't have! How can you love a monster like me?'' I replied desperately trying to make him see sense. I wouldn't keep him trapped here. If he wanted to stay in Central, that was fine. I couldn't force him to be with me though.

''Do you want me to leave?'' I shook my head slowly. No I didn't want him to leave. I would be content to just lie in his arms for the rest of my life. I couldn't keep hurting him though. Inuyasha continued stroking my hair while I stared at him. He stood and I instinctively clutched onto his kimono. I couldn't be left alone. Not after the nightmares that occasionally still plagued me. He gently pried my hand from his clothing and smiled reassuringly, ''I'm just going to make you some tea. I'll just be in the kitchen.'' I stood and followed him into the kitchen. Even if it was just for a few minutes I couldn't be alone.

Inuyasha's Point of View

I started rummaging through the cabinets for the sugar Massy loved while the tea brewed on the stove. Massy had followed me into the kitchen and had sat on one of the countertops while she watched me make the tea. I glanced at her before returning my gaze to the cabinet. Her eyes were so wide and trusting it was hard to believe anything bad had ever happened to her. I felt my grip tighten on one of the shelves as I remembered the day the nightmares had begun.

_''Do you want some more pain medication before you go to sleep?'' I asked holding the bottle of pills out for my mate. She shook her head and lay back against the pillows. I shrugged and placed the bottle on the bedside table before climbing into bed next to her. She snuggled next to me and rested her head on my chest. I smiled content to stay like this forever. I watched as her eyelids drooped and she fell asleep. I was surprised that she was still sleeping so well considering she'd had auto mail surgery a few days before. She must be good at suppressing pain. I rested my head against my own pillows and closed my eyes._

_Something was wrong. I knew it before I opened my eyes. Massy was shifting under the heavy blanket and whimpering. I sat up and looked at my small mate. She had managed to curl into a ball despite the heavy auto mail and was shivering despite the heavy blanket. I felt her forehead and instantly reached for her medicine. She was burning up. I should have just given her the pain medication, I thought angrily as I opened the small bottle and shook a pill into my palm. I reached over to shake her awake but jumped back in surprise. She was screaming. _

_''No! No! I didn't mean to! I just wanted to see your smile again! I thought if I brought you back, you would be happy! I didn't know it would hurt you!'' She sobbed as she tossed and turned on the bed. I saw the once white sheets turn red and held her down. She had just gotten the auto mail. Granny had said she shouldn't be doing any strenuous activity. She fought a little and I thought she'd relaxed. I felt a metal fist collide with my nose and once again flew off the bed. She shot up panting heavily. Her eyes were darting around crazily. I pinched the bridge of my nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding and fumbled for a bit before I found the light switch. Once the light had been turned on, Massy reached for the pill that now lay on the bed. I must have dropped it when she started screaming, I thought. She swallowed the pill dry and turned to look at me. Her eyes widened in horror when she saw the mess that was my face. She covered her mouth with one shaking hand before turning away again._

_''Massy are you okay? What was that?'' I asked walking slowly over to the bed. I didn't want to startle her. She already looked unraveled and a bit crazed. She shook her head and raised her hand and pointed shakily at my face. _

_''Why are you asking about me? What about you? What happened to your face?'' She looked at her auto mail hand and stared at the blood soaked fingers. Her arms dropped to her side and she stared off seeing something no one else could. I reached out to comfort her but she slapped my hand away; gently this time. _

_''Massy it's all right. It's just a bloody nose. I just need to clean myself and get some ice. It's no big deal.'' She shook her head again before lying down. _

I forced myself to relax as I relived the memory. Strangely enough, that had been one of the calmer nights. Some days I would wake up to find pieces of furniture destroyed. She never remembered doing it but I knew she would beat herself up over it anyway. Today must be one of the bad days if she didn't want to be alone.

Masamori's Point of View

I watched Inuyasha as he added sugar to the tea. He looked worried about something. It bothered me that no matter the circumstances, we were always discussing my problems. We never talked about his. I made a mental note to myself to fix this in the future. I wasn't in the mood to comfort someone or be the one comforted. In place of the anger and bitterness at myself that I'd been feeling, I now felt incredibly nauseous. I felt my stomach churning and felt the bile rising in my throat. I hopped off the counter as gently as I could and tried to get to the bathroom in time without making it look like something was wrong. I had forgotten Inuyasha was my mate and that he'd probably felt the licks of nausea anyway.

I slammed the bathroom door shut and managed to kneel in front of the toilet before I started vomiting. I heard a knock on the door and weakly raised my head. My insides were burning like crazy and my mouth tasted nasty but I felt like I had enough energy to call Inuyasha inside the bathroom.

''Come…in,'' was all I could manage before I started vomiting again. I heard the door open and felt someone rubbing my back and pulling my hair out of my face.

''Are you all right?'' I raised my head again and saw worry clouding those beautiful golden eyes of his. I managed to shake my head before I vomited again. He pulled my long hair into a messy ponytail and continued rubbing my back. I moaned but eventually managed to stop vomiting. I flushed and leaned back against the wall. Inuyasha started washing my face with a wet wash cloth and I smiled apologetically a little embarrassed that he had to clean me up.

''I'm sorry. Here, let me do it.'' I reached for the wash cloth but he held it out of my reach. I pouted and tried again. He held it higher and shook his head. I let my hand drop to my side and he bent down to continue washing my face.

''I don't think so. I'm going to clean you up and then you're going to go lay down.'' I rubbed my stomach before nodding. I still felt a little sick and lying down in a nice warm bed sounded nice. Inuyasha finished cleaning my face and tossed the wash cloth into the hamper before lifting me up and carrying me to bed.

Once I was buried under the covers, he sat in a chair and opened a book. I raised an eyebrow before sitting up and reaching out to him. He laughed and raised an eyebrow.

''What is it?''

''Please! I don't wanna be alone!'' I pleaded. He smiled a little before marking his place in the book and coming to sit down next to me. I lay down again and snuggled against his chest purring contently. Inuyasha ran his fingers through my hair. I didn't feel sick anymore so I decided to try to get some sleep. I just hoped that I was too exhausted to have any nightmares. I didn't think I could stand that on top of now having a stomach bug.

I moaned and rolled over onto my side. Lying on my stomach hadn't helped my stomach in the least. The bed felt empty. I raised my head and looked around the room. Inuyasha had left. I saw some tea on the bedside table and a note. I sat up rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Where had Inuyasha gone? I glanced at the clock. It was only three in the afternoon. I reached for the note.

Dear, Massy:

I have to run a few errands. I would have asked you to come along but you looked like you needed the rest. I'll be home before dinner. Please relax and don't strain yourself. I love you!

Love, Inuyasha

I smiled at his thoughtfulness before placing the note back on the nightstand and grabbed the tea. Hoping I would be able to hold it down, I took a sip wondering what I should do until Inuyasha came back. I knew he had said not to strain myself but I didn't want to stay cooped up in bed. Talking on the phone wouldn't be considered straining myself, right? I stood and made my way to the living room.

As I waited for Ed to answer I studied our apartment. We had only lived here for a few months but it still felt like a home. When Ed and Al had burnt down our house and left for Central, Inuyasha and I followed. We lived in one of the apartment complexes owned by the military. Ed and Al lived in the barracks. I tried to spend us much time with them as possible before they left for one of their missions. Even though I despised the military and everything to do with it, I still understood it was a chance at getting my brothers back to normal. I sighed as I remembered the day they had left intent on becoming State Alchemists.

_''Hey, where are you guys going?'' I watched as Ed lifted up the small suitcase before stepping outside. I followed and bit my lip. The smell of our burnt home still hung heavy to the ground. I understood why they had done it but it still hurt that we had nothing left to remember Mom by._

_''Al and I are going to Central to become State Alchemists.'' Ed replied quietly. I felt my mouth hanging open in surprise. Central? Military? I stared at Ed for a second unable to think of anything to say. Ed waved a gloved hand in my face, ''hello? You still with us, Massy?''_

_''You can't go!'' Ed jumped in surprise at my outburst. Al had jumped also but he had slipped and fallen to the ground with a loud crash. Cursing Ed dropped the suitcase and ran over to help Al up. I saw something fly out of Ed's pocket and quickly snatched it up. It was Roy Mustang's phone number. Ed had helped Al to his feet and glared at me angrily. He snatched it out of my fingers and shoved it back in his pocket. _

_''We have to go! This is the only way we can get information!'' I flinched at his tone. He was acting like I hadn't been doing anything for him and Al. It wasn't my fault I had been in the hospital for the past three months and had been on bed rest for another week. I had done the best I could by sending Inuyasha around to ask for information both in this era and the Feudal Era. I shook my head before handing Ed his suitcase and walking back inside._

_I walked up the stairs in a daze. My mind refused to believe my brothers were going to Central to become dogs of the military. _

I closed my eyes and released a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Ed and Al were doing fine and all my worries had been for naught. Al hadn't been able to join because he couldn't take the physical exam. Ed had passed all the tests and was now the Fullmetal Alchemist. He had become a hero of the people during his missions. Everything seemed to be going well for them despite everything they'd been through.

''Hello, Edward Elric speaking.''

''Hey, Ed. It's me.'' I replied trying to sound as upbeat as possible even though I felt nauseas again. I swallowed feeling the bile rise in my throat again. Maybe the tea hadn't been such a good idea after all…

''Oh hey, Massy! How are you and Inuyasha doing?'' I dropped the phone as I bolted for the bathroom. I could hear Ed calling my name in confusion. I didn't bother to shut the bathroom door as I kneeled down next to the toilet and once again got violently sink. Once I was finished I stood and cleaned myself up. I made my way back to the phone and bent down to pick it up. Ed was still calling my name.

''I'm sorry, Ed. I just haven't been feeling well for a couple weeks. Inuyasha and I are doing fine.'' I replied in what I hoped was a reassuring tone. Ed wasn't convinced.

''Have you been to see a doctor? Is Inuyasha taking care of you?'' I bit back a retort. I could understand if he accused me of neglecting my health but I wouldn't allow him to insult Inuyasha like that.

''Of course he's taking care of me. He put me on bed rest. I don't need to see a doctor, Ed. The flu is spreading around Central. I probably caught it the last time I was out.''

''Where's Inuyasha? What are you doing out of bed? If you do have the flu, you need sleep.'' I silently counted to ten. I loved Ed but I didn't like it when he tried to control my every move, even if he didn't mean to.

''Inuyasha went out. He had to run a few errands. I'm out of bed because I wanted to make sure my older brothers came back from their last mission safely.'' I replied calmly. I could feel Ed's frustration through the phone. Why was he frustrated?

''We're just fine but no closer to getting our bodies back. The mission was another dead end. The Colonel just wanted us to stop the riots in another tiny town nothing new.'' I understood the frustration. Ed had only joined the military so he and Al could have access to research materials that they could use to get their original bodies back. I would bet anything that Ed would quit if he could. He wasn't too fond of his superior though he had never told me why.

''I'm sorry. Inuyasha and I haven't found anything either. Not too many people study alchemy in the Feudal Era and we haven't been able to travel lately. I'll go back to bed in a minute. I don't want to cause Inuyasha any more worry. Do you think I could say hi to Al first, though?'' I asked stifling a yawn. I was exhausted but I wanted to say hi to my other brother as well.

''Of course. Hey, Al! It's Massy.'' I heard shuffling then the slightly childish and innocent tone of my other brother, Alphonse.

''Hi, Massy! How are you feeling?'' There was no question in his voice. He knew I wasn't feeling well which meant he'd been listening to me talk to Al. Al was a lot calmer than Ed but he was still a huge worry wart. I smiled at the similarity.

''I just caught the flu, Al. It'll be gone in a couple of days. I would talk to you a little longer but I am really tired.''

''Of course! You make sure you get plenty of rest.'' I heard the click as the call disconnected and stifled another yawn as I placed the phone back in the cradle. I stretched and climbed back into bed hoping I would sleep whatever it was off.

I woke up to a loud crash and even louder cursing. I jumped out of bed and hurried into the living area. Inuyasha was bending over shoving various items back into backs with an annoyed look on his face. I bent down to help and giggled as Inuyasha jumped.

''Where did you come from?!'' he asked gazing at me with concern. I pointed at the bedroom and continued shoving items back into the brown grocery bags. One item in particular caught my eye. I held up the small white box. Inuyasha reached to snatch the box from my fingers but I held it out of his reach.

''Inuyasha what is this?'' I asked staring at the pregnancy test in my shaking fingers. I knew perfectly well what it was but I couldn't believe he thought I needed one. I couldn't be pregnant, right. I suddenly felt very stupid. How had I mistaken the nausea for the flu? How could had I not noticed earlier? I felt the box slip through my fingers and heard the dull thud as it hit the floor. I heard Inuyasha calling my name with concern but it sounded as if it were coming from a great distance. I couldn't be pregnant. I just couldn't be. I wanted to be a mother more than anything but I was convinced I would be a terrible mother. I had let my own mother die... I had ignored the pain this had caused my brothers…

_''Race you home!'' Ed called cheerfully as the train sped down the track. Everything and everyone seemed to be in a good mood today. However, I felt as if something were wrong. My brothers hadn't noticed anything but I had learned to trust my instincts. What could possibly be wrong? Everything had been going great lately. _

_''Massy, are you coming?'' I blinked and saw my brothers several feet ahead of me. I must have zoned out… I nodded and tried to push the feeling of dread out of my mind. _

_I stopped a few feet away from the door; the feeling of dread came back stronger than ever. Ed turned to look at me with one hand on the doorknob. _

_''Massy, come on! Mom's waiting for us.'' I shook my head in an attempt to clear it. Something was wrong but I wasn't sure what it was. Ed sighed with exasperation before turning the knob, ''hey, Mom! Sorry we took so long! Mom!'' I heard the baskets of vegetables we'd been carrying fall to the floor and looked up. Mom was lying on the ground breathing heavily. She was coated in a thin sheen of sweat. I dropped my basket as well and ran over to the phone._

_I sat in a chair unable to look at my mother's unconscious form. Ed and Al were holding her hand and waiting for her to wake up. I was listening to the doctor's conversation with Auntie Pinako. _

_''I can tell you this. This isn't something she contracted overnight. She's been hiding it for awhile. I doubt she'll make it through the night…'' I closed my eyes and bit back a sob. I didn't deserve to cry. I had known about the sickness but I hadn't bothered to tell anyone or seek any help. It was my fault Ed, Al, and I would be orphans by tomorrow morning. _

_The doctor was right. Mom a few hours later after telling us where the money was kept and asking Ed to transmute flowers for her grave. Ed refused to believe she was dead and called her name for a few minutes. The funeral was held the next day. Since we weren't sure what Mom would have wanted for her funeral besides the flowers. Things like this weren't usually extravagant in Resembool. Everyone in the small town did come to pay their respects to Trisha Elric and shower the three orphaned Elric children with pity. Even though we weren't technically orphans as our father was still alive, we still considered ourselves to be. Our father had left shortly after I was born. He had made Mom cry and raise three young children on her own. No wonder she had gotten so sick. He was to blame as well. The townspeople were the first to leave. Only Auntie Pinako, Winry, Ed, Al, and I remained by noon. By sunset, it was only Ed, Al, and I. I clenched my fingers into fists. Even though most of the blame fell on my shoulders, a small portion still belonged to my father. He hadn't even come to her funeral. I stormed off leaving my brothers kneeling by her gravestone._

_As soon as I was out of sight, I broke into a heavy run. I ran until I reached the market. The cashier smiled sympathetically at me but I ignored her. I ran through the small store grabbing ingredients and quickly weighing amounts. Once I was finished I ran over to the cashier and purchased the items. She raised an eyebrow but handed me two brown bags after I handed her a handful of money._

_I ran as fast I could without spilling the contents of the bag. I ran until I reached the forest and hurriedly searched for a secluded spot. I only had so long before my brothers came to collect me for dinner. By that time I hoped to either be standing next to Mom or lying dead upon the forest floor._

_I ended up in the middle of the forest and carefully placed the bags on the floor and picked up a stick. I had only read about this in alchemy books and even that had been pure theory. I could only hope this would turn out the way I wanted it to. I finished the runes and checked over them. I needed everything to be perfect and I only had a slim chance of this working successfully. I couldn't afford any mistakes. At least not anymore than necessary. I threw the stick aside and started piling the ingredients in the middle of the Transmutation Circle. _

_''Water thirty-five liters, carbon twenty kilograms, ammonia four liters, lime one and a half kilograms, phosphorous eight hundred grams, sodium two hundred and fifty grams, potassium one hundred grams, sulfur eighty grams, fluoride seven and a half grams, iron five grams, silicon three grams... That should do it. Now for my blood…'' I dragged one of my claws down my index finger. A thin trickle of blood oozed from the small cut and I watched feeling the slightest hint of uncertainty. A small part of me wanted to stop and go home. However, most of my body and soul was still willing to go through with the Transmutation so I held my finger over the other ingredients and watched as a drop fell onto the pile. The sense of uncertainty was growing stronger but I continued to ignore it as I bent down next to the complicated runes. I placed my hands on the edge and activated the circle. As golden light swirled around the forest, I couldn't help the huge smile that had found its' way to my face. Suddenly the light turned a deep menacing purple and the wind from the Transmutation grew frightfully strong. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't remove my hands from the circle._

_I opened my eyes and found myself in a large white space. I blinked and gazed around fearfully. There didn't seem to be any end to the space. How had I gotten here? I was sure I'd been in the middle of the forest a moment ago. _

_''Hello.'' I jumped and turned slowly. I was afraid to see whatever had just greeted me though I wasn't sure why. A white figure was sitting comfortably in what I assumed was the middle of this huge white space. It didn't appear to have any features but as I watched a huge creepy smile appeared on its' face._

_''Who are you?'' I asked quietly. I wanted to know what I was conversing with but I also didn't want to know. Whatever it was it was as creepy and mysterious as the great white space._

_''Oh! I'm so glad you asked! I'm what you would call ''the world.'' Or ''the universe.'' Or ''God.'' Or ''Truth.'' Or ''all.'' Or ''one.'' And…I'm ''you.'' I was still afraid but also found myself curious about this strange being who claimed to be everything and anything._

_''What do you want?'' _

_''Do you not realize what you've done?'' it asked with the merest trace of humor in its' tone. I glared wondering if it would be stupid to yell at it. I bit my lip and waited as it continued, ''you're a fool and fools must pay the toll for seeing the Truth.'' I raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. I was filled with a huge sense of dread as I heard doors creaking open. I turned and saw huge doors covered in strange symbols opening slowly revealing tiny black hands. The hands shot out and grabbed at my body. I screamed and struggled while staring at the thing. Its smile was growing as it waved._

_Once I was inside, I felt like every secret that there was to know about alchemy and the universe in general was being poured into my mind. I continued to scream and struggle against the tiny black hands but their grip was surprisingly strong despite their size. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't close my eyes and block the onslaught of information. Suddenly I saw a white figure at the end of the swirling tendrils of information. It looked like…Mom?_

_''Mom!'' I cried, ''Mom make it stop! Please!'' I reached out a hand but my mother didn't reach for me._

_I found myself back in the huge white space fingers outstretched. Even though it didn't have any features except that large creepy smile, I felt that it was searching for my face with an intense stare. I let my hand fall limp against my side and stared at it. I had just seen the Truth. I had seen all the secrets of the universe. The way to bring Mom back to life was behind those doors. _

_''Can I see that one more time? Please! This is the only way I can make up what I've done to my family!'' I begged slightly annoyed at myself for begging this strange creature for information. _

_''Oh no. That's all I can show you for the toll that you paid.'' Toll? What toll? Before I could ask, I felt unbearable pain in both my legs and left arm._

_I opened my eyes finding myself back in the middle of the forest. I screamed and grabbed at the stump that was now my right leg. I screamed again and raised one hand to my face. It was coated in blood. I was going to bleed to death out here and no one would ever know. I would never get the chance to apologize for what I'd done. I bit back another scream. I couldn't do anything to stop the bleeding and I hadn't told anyone where I was going. I was going to die alone. _

_''Massy?! What happened?!'' I tried to open my eyes but found my eyelids had become too heavy to perform this simple task. I knew the voice but I couldn't quite place it. I heard whoever it was calling for help but I was too sleepy to care. A little sleep couldn't possibly hurt._

_I opened my eyes and looked around. Whoever had found me had taken me back to Auntie Pinako's. I was in one of the beds she used for auto mail patients. I used my remaining limb to push myself into the sitting position and cleared my parched throat. I wasn't sure how long I'd been unconscious. I saw a pitcher of water and an empty glass on the bedside table. I reached for the pitcher but saw my fingers shaking violently. I wouldn't be able to hold the pitcher. Besides I only had one arm and that would surely cause a mess. I lay back against the pillows and hoped someone would come and help me soon. My throat was beginning to hurt. _

_''Are you thirsty?'' I jumped slightly at the gentle voice of my mate, Inuyasha. I turned and saw him sitting at the foot of my bed. I nodded. Inuyasha stood and walked over to the bedside table to fill the glass. He handed me the cup and I gulped it down. I held out the cup with a pleading expression in my eyes. Inuyasha smiled and filled the glass up again. After three more glasses, I finally felt satisfied. I cleared my throat and placed the cup next to the now empty pitcher._

_''Thank you.'' Inuyasha nodded and sat back down at the foot of the bed. I watched him curiously. When had he come to Resembool?_

_''Massy, you know I love you more than anything but what made you do such a stupid thing?'' I looked down ashamed. I hadn't meant to hurt anyone. I had just wanted to see my mother again. It had also felt like the only way to earn forgiveness from my brothers after causing her death in the first place._

_''When you're desperate, you do stupid things.'' I replied quietly. Inuyasha reached over and squeezed my hand. I tried to smile but it turned to a grimace. _

_''Do you know how worried I was when Ed told me what you were doing? I had come to visit you and bring you something. I couldn't find you but I found Ed and Al in the graveyard. I'm so, so sorry about your mother. Before I could properly pay my respects to her, Ed saw the light from her alchemy in the forest and told me what he thought you were doing. I ran towards the light while they ran for help. As I got closer, the smell of blood grew stronger. I found you next to a destroyed Transmutation Circle that had the most horrible creature in the center of it. I don't know what happened to it. You were missing three limbs and slowly bleeding to death. I brought you here worried that no matter how quickly I ran it wouldn't be fast enough. I was begging you to hang on. When I finally got here, Auntie Pinako said if I had been a moment later it would've been too late.'' I felt like I would be crushed by the guilt that was slowly consuming me. How could I have been so selfish? What I thought had been helping my family had really been a selfish act. I had done this out of self pity. Nothing had mattered to me except seeing my mother smile again. Helping my family had been part of the reasoning but I had still done something incredibly selfish. If I had died, I would have caused my brothers, Auntie Pinako, and Inuyasha even more grief. Inuyasha kissed my forehead._

_''Hey, don't feel bad. I know why you did that and so do they. No one is angry with you. We're all just happy you'll be okay.'' I nodded but I knew there was something I needed to do before I could put this behind me._

_''Inuyasha, could you get Ed and Al for me? I need to talk to them.'' Inuyasha stood and left the room. Moments later, he returned with my brothers in tow._

_''Are you feeling okay, Massy?'' Al asked. Ed sat down in a chair that was placed next to my bed. I nodded slowly._

_''I'm fine but I'm a little sore. I need to talk to you.'' Ed motioned for me to continue. I took a deep breath. My throat had gone dry despite the fact that I'd just drunk an entire pitcher of water. I cleared my throat, ''I'm sorry.''_

_''What are you talking about, Massy?'' Ed asked. I shook my head. How could they not be angry with me? Were they just pretending or did they not see the reasons? Did they not understand why they should be angry with me?_

_''I'm sorry. It's my fault Mom died. I knew she was sick but I didn't tell anyone. I didn't realize how serious it was until…until she died. I'm sorry that I went and did such a stupid thing. I should've seen the consequences. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I did it anyway and it nearly cost me my life. I'm sorry you have such a terrible sister.'' Ed smiled sadly and pulled me into a hug. Al smiled reassuringly._

_''What gave you the impression that this was your fault?'' I shrugged. I didn't understand why they weren't screaming at me. I had told them what I'd done and they had every right to be angry. Why weren't they screaming at me? _

_''Why aren't you angry?'' I asked quietly. Ed raised an eyebrow._

_''Why would we be angry? You know that there is no known cure to that illness. Even if you had told someone, they would have told us there wasn't anything they could do.''_

_''What about the Human Transmutation?! I almost killed myself! I think I actually wanted to die!'' I covered my mouth. I hadn't meant to say that. I knew that if I survived, they would know about the failed Transmutation. I hadn't meant for them to know about my other thoughts. _

_''Massy, you can't die.'' Inuyasha stated simply as he replaced Ed. I looked up and saw a warm smile instead of the anger I had been expecting. I raised my eyebrow in question. Why couldn't I die? After all, I was just a small piece of everything. The world would continue as if nothing had happened. Inuyasha wiped away a tear, ''what would Ed and Al do without you? How would I live without my mate?'' _

I felt someone squeezing my shoulders and looked up into Inuyasha's worried golden eyes. I shook my head trying to clear it. Maybe Inuyasha could make this better too.

''Inuyasha how can I be a mother? Look at all the terrible things I did. How can I raise this baby and make sure it doesn't turn into a monster like its mother?'' Inuyasha wiped a tear from my cheek. I blinked. I hadn't realized I'd even been crying.

''You'll make a great mother. Besides this baby will have one thing you never did.''

''What would that be?'' I asked stifling a yawn. I was exhausted. I had been planning on going back to bed a while ago. How could I have mistaken this as the flu? Now that I had calmed down a bit I was actually excited about having a baby. I had always wanted to be a mother but I'd never thought it would happen. There was so much that needed to be done but I was too tired to take care of any of it. Maybe Inuyasha would do that for me. After he told me what the baby would have of course…

''You and I will both be there to take of it. Now come on. You should get some more sleep.'' I nodded and let Inuyasha led me back to the bedroom. I placed one hand on my belly and started rubbing gently. I couldn't believe I was going to be a mother. It felt like I was stuck in a dream. In a minute, I would wake up and start breakfast. This couldn't possibly be happening.

''Ugh…'' I moaned as I untangled myself from Inuyasha's arms and bolted to the bathroom for the third time that night.

I slammed the bathroom door shut and proceeded to kneel down in front of the porcelain toilet. As I emptied my stomach into the toilet bowl, I cursed myself for eating so much at dinner. I should have known the morning sickness wouldn't allow me to keep it down. I heard the door creak open and raised my head weakly. Inuyasha was standing in the doorway.

''Can I come in?'' I nodded before turning back to the toilet. Why was I getting so sick? I hadn't been able to hold anything down for more than a couple of hours. I couldn't even keep water down! The baby rejected everything that I ate. Inuyasha sat down on the edge of the bathtub and waited for me to finish. When I'd finished Inuyasha tried to help me to my feet but I collapsed. Inuyasha caught me before I hit the floor, ''are you okay?'' I shook my head and motioned towards the door. Inuyasha understood. I wanted to go lay down. Inuyasha supported me down the hallway and back to our bedroom.

Once I was back on the bed I turned to Inuyasha, ''I feel dizzy and nauseas. Is this supposed to be part of pregnancy?'' I had taken the pregnancy test earlier to make sure that I was pregnant. We didn't want to go tell everyone I was pregnant without being sure. That had been the most agonizing three minute wait of my life.

''I don't know but I do know one thing. We're going to the doctors tomorrow.'' I sat up ignoring the pounding in my head.

''No! I can't go to the doctors! Doctors mean needles! Besides it brings back bad memories…''

_''AAAAGGGGHHHH!'' Another blood curdling shriek escaped from my lips. I bit back another scream and squirmed on the bed. _

_''Massy, you have to lay still!'' I turned to glare at Inuyasha. He was holding me down and trying to comfort me at the same time. _

_''It hurts!'' I whined. He only smiled and assured me that Granny was almost done for the day._

Inuyasha wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. I yawned and snuggled up against him. I knew I needed to go but that wouldn't change how I felt about it. I also knew I couldn't fight. I couldn't risk the babies.

I was fidgeting nervously in one of the hard plastic chairs that sat in a row in the waiting room. The antiseptic smell of the hospital was driving me crazy. I wrinkled my nose and tried to think of something else.

Before we had left for the hospital, Inuyasha had called Al and had invited him and Ed over for dinner. I hadn't raised any objection to this. I knew they had a right to know about my pregnancy. Still I didn't want to add to their stress. They had enough going on in their lives without me adding to it.

''Mrs. Elric? The doctor will see you now.'' I stood and stretched. I knew I hadn't been in the chair for that long but it had felt like that. Inuyasha glanced at me before following the doctor down a hallway. I sighed and followed. I still didn't like this. No matter what was wrong with you, doctors always found an excuse to stick needles in you. I was sure this time would be no exception.

The doctor motioned for me to sit on the metal bed while he went through some papers. I sat wincing at the sound of crinkling paper. Inuyasha sat in a chair and gave me a reassuring smile. I tried to smile but just couldn't manage it. I was too busy staring at the needles. The doctor pulled his stool over to the bed and sat down.

''All right. Before I ask you about why you're here, tell me one thing. Are you related to the Elric brothers?'' I tried not to appear annoyed. I was used to people asking me if I was related to the famous Edward Elric but it was still annoying. I nodded curtly.

''What does that have to do with anything?''

''I know your brothers and I know what they did. They never mentioned having a little sister though. Anyway, why are you here?''

''I asked them not to tell people about me. Before I tell you anything, I need to be sure you can keep a secret. If you've kept my brothers' secret, I'm going to trust you'll be able to keep mine.''

''Of course. Did you make the same mistake as your brothers?''

''Well yes but I'm not worried about that.'' I chuckled bitterly, ''to most alchemists, my very existence is a mistake.'' I removed the hat exposing my ears. The doctor fell off of his stool in surprise. Inuyasha helped him to his feet and took the hat from my hands before sitting down again. Once the doctor had regained his composure, he studied my cat ears.

I was a Fallen Angel. Fallen Angels were demons that were born into human families. They were made up of several different demons but remained one type of demon most of the time. Most of the time I was a cat demon but I occasionally changed into a different demon. I never bothered to keep track of this. I could never remember what kind of demon I would be when I transformed so I let it happen and didn't pay much attention into what I'd changed to. I had cat ears that were a deeper shade of gold than my hair. My tail matched my ears but it also had silver rings and a black tip. I also had black wings that were covered with flecks of gold and silver. My eyes were a brighter shade of gold than both my ears and hair. I also had fangs and claws. I always had to wear clothes that would cover my demonic features so it was quite a relief to be free of the hat.

''Are you a chimera?'' Inuyasha bit his lip but didn't say anything. I shook my head.

''No, I'm a demon. There's a difference. A chimera is a being made of two animals whereas I was born like this. I need you to keep this a secret. It would also be nice to know your name.''

''Of course I can keep this a secret. My name is Dr. Knox. What can I do for you?'' I smiled at his business like demeanor. Inuyasha appeared to like him too. That was a big thumbs book. If Inuyasha trusted the doctor, I could trust him as well.

''I found out I was pregnant yesterday.'' Dr. Knox nodded and stood from his stool.

''Could you lay down for me?'' I lay down and watched in curiosity as he picked up a blanket. He threw it over my knees.

''Lift up your dress so I can see your stomach.'' He commanded. I obeyed and barely managed to stifle a squeak of surprise. There was a small bump protruding from my stomach. How far along was I? If Dr. Knox was surprised, he hid it well. He gently measured my stomach and wrote something down on a clipboard.

''From what I can tell, you're about eight weeks along.'' Inuyasha raised an eyebrow in question but didn't say anything. I stared at Knox. If I was only two months into the pregnancy, why was I showing so early? Then it hit me. I wasn't having one baby… Since I was a demon and the father was a demon, the baby or babies would have started showing earlier anyhow because of the demonic influence. I nodded and pulled my dress down. Knox took the blanket off and handed me a bottle of pills.

''This are prenatal vitamins. You need to take them every day.'' I nodded again and allowed Inuyasha to help me off of the table. Inuyasha thanked Knox and led me out of the room and out of the hospital.

As we were walking down the street, I placed my hand on my belly. I couldn't believe I was carrying more than one. I had only found out about my pregnancy yesterday and now I knew I was going to have more than one baby. I looked at Inuyasha who had been very quiet since my appointment.

''Inuyasha, are you okay?'' Inuyasha nodded and turned to look at me. I was suddenly very afraid. I knew he had been prepared for one baby, but I didn't know if he would stick around to help me raise more than one child.

''It's just amazing, isn't it? Yesterday, we found out you were pregnant, and now we're going to have more than one kid.'' I allowed myself a small smile when I heard the excitement in his voice. I giggled and placed Inuyasha's hand over my own. I knew everything would be okay as long as I had Inuyasha. Now all that was left was to tell everyone else about it.

Inuyasha was busy chopping up vegetables in the kitchen while I stood beside the phone. I was going to tell Ed and Al the news when they came for dinner. I would tell Winry after I called Izumi Curtis. I had met her and her husband, Sig Curtis, when Inuyasha and I had gone to Dublith with Ed and Al. I didn't understand why, but Ed and Al had seemed absolutely terrified of her. I wouldn't allow myself to be intimidated by anyone. The only one I feared was myself. Though, she certainly tried to scare me…

_''What's wrong with your brothers, Massy?'' Inuyasha asked. I laughed and shook my head. We had decided to go visit Dublith with Ed and Al. We both felt like we needed to get away from the fumes of the city. _

_''I have no idea. They won't tell me.'' Ed and Al were shaking in fear. I had questioned them about during the train ride but they refused to tell me anything. I knew they were afraid of their alchemy teacher but I didn't see why. _

_We stopped in front of a butcher shop. I raised an eyebrow. The only thing I knew about their alchemy teacher was her name. I didn't know what she did for a living. Inuyasha wrinkled his nose. I couldn't blame him. The smell of dead animals was heavy in the air. Ed and Al were whispering and looking at the door nervously. I sighed. We weren't going to get anything done if they kept this up. I walked up to the door and knocked on the door. _

_A large man with black hair answered the door. Was this their teacher's husband? Brother maybe? It annoyed me that I didn't know much about the person who had taught my brothers alchemy. _

_''Hello, we were wondering if we could see Izumi Curtis?'' I asked. Ed looked at me furiously before turning around and hurrying away with Al in tow. Inuyasha grabbed their arms._

_''I thought you wanted to ask your teacher something?'' The man walked over to Ed and studied him for a second. He turned to Al and glanced at Inuyasha. _

_''You two are in so much trouble.'' Ed flinched. I was fairly certain Al had to. There was a loud crash as the heavy suit of armor that held his soul fell to the ground. Ed helped him up and followed the man inside. Inuyasha looked at me. I shrugged helplessly and looked at the door. I wasn't sure if we should follow them or not. What had this woman done to my brothers? _

I smiled at the memory. It turned out that Izumi had left Ed and Al on an island for their first month of training. I had been angry about this at first but after learning she had made sure someone was keeping an eye on them, I had found the whole thing rather funny. She had also given them martial arts training.

''Hello, this is Izumi Curtis.'' I leaned against the wall as another wave of dizziness came over me. I'd been feeling lightheaded quite often lately. Dr. Knox had said it was part of the pregnancy, but it still annoyed me. I couldn't stand up without being overcome by it.

''Hi, Mrs. Curtis,'' I could've sworn I'd heard her jump at the sound of my voice. We had only met twice and I wasn't sure if she would recognize my voice. I was sure she hadn't forgotten me. After all, I wasn't easy to forget…

''Is that you, Massy?'' I could hear the curiosity and worry in her voice. I knew I was the only who ever called her to tell her anything. Even though she frightened them, she cared about Ed and Al a lot and I knew it hurt her to not hear from them.

''Yes it's me. I have some good news. Ed and Al are fine by the way. They just got back from a mission and they're coming over for dinner tonight.''

''What is it?'' the relief in her voice was evident. I was suddenly nervous. Inuyasha and Dr. Knox were the only two people who knew about my pregnancy. How would Izumi react to this? Would she be jealous?

''I'm…pregnant…'' I mumbled. I felt guilty. I knew Izumi had lost her first and only child and was unable to bear anymore children.

''That is great news. When did you find out?'' This surprised me. I had expected anger but she sounded genuinely happy for me.

''Yesterday. We went to my first appointment today. Speaking of that, he had some very interesting news…'' I placed one hand on the small bulge. I was wearing a tank top so the small bump was very obvious. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold the news in a second longer so decided to go ahead and tell her, ''we're going to have more than one!''

''Congratulations you two! Massy, would you mind if Sig and I came and stayed with you. I would love to be able to help you with your pregnancy…'' Was she nervous?

''Of course! That would be great! Oh! Ed and Al are gonna be here soon. Mrs. Curtis, do you think I could ask you something?'' I had thought this over and discussed it with Inuyasha. He had agreed and said that Izumi was the best person for the job.

''Of course you can. Oh and please call me Izumi.'' I smiled. Maybe things would turn out for the better. I was certainly having a streak of good luck at the moment.

''All right, Izumi. Inuyasha and I were wondering if you and Sig would like to be the godparents?''

Sodom: Yay! So much angst!

Emo: Ikr?!

Sodom: tee hee. well anyways...R&R plz! Till Next time! bye!


	2. Chapter 2

**Emo: **Thank you to my first reviewer! I'm so happy! For that, you get a plate of free cookies and/or cupcakes! *glomp hugs*

**Sodom: **As you can see, you've made her really happy. And i like seeing her that way so you should keep reviewing. ALL OF YOU. And no flaming, or she might just rip your heads off.

**Emo: **Sorry for the delay of this chapter. I kept getting writers block when it came to the part about the scissors...but I got it done!

**Sodom: **It took a lot of nagging on my part to get her ass in gear and start writing again, or she probably would have abandoned it. Her conficence in this fic has been renewed because of you, Wierd1, that she has decided to keep writing this fic!

**Emo: **Now on with chapter 2! I do not own any of the anime characters in this fic, even though I really want to! So take that, lawyers!

''All right, Izumi. Inuyasha and I were wondering if you and Sig would like to be the godparents?'' The phone went silent for a couple of minutes, and for a minute I was afraid I'd offended her. I knew that had come out of nowhere, but it had seemed like a good idea. I heard her discussing the offer with her husband, Sig. I crossed my fingers. I wanted to give my babies the best life I could manage.

''We would love to.'' I was speechless for a minute. I hadn't expected her to accept my offer even though I had wanted her to. This was a pleasant surprise.

''Thank you,'' I replied when I had finally regained the use of my voice, ''that means a lot.'' I heard a knock at the door. Ed and Al had arrived. I quickly said my goodbyes to Izumi and hurried to the door.

When I opened it, Ed was standing there holding a box and Al was standing a little ways behind him. I waved them in and motioned for them to go sit in the living room. My mouth had gone dry and I was finding it rather difficult to speak. When my brothers were comfortable, I cleared my throat. I couldn't ignore my brothers forever even if I was absolutely terrified.

''Hey guys…'' I muttered wiping my sweaty hands on my pajama pants. Since I was only having my brothers over and not the Fuhrer I had deemed it acceptable to wear my pajamas.

''Hey Massy,'' Al replied in his gentle tone. I couldn't help but smile. Al, a huge suit of armor, always sounded so gentle and kind whereas Ed, a human teenager, sounded so angry and impatient to those who did not know him well.

''Hi Massy,'' Ed greeted while placing the box on the coffee table. I cleared my throat again. Why was this so difficult? It was only my brothers after all. What was I so afraid of? I felt my tail twitch anxiously and hoped no one had noticed this.

''Would you like anything to drink, Ed? We have coke, lemonade, water, and tea.'' I offered while throwing an apologetic glance in Al's direction. I had carefully refrained from mentioning milk. For reasons unknown to anyone, Ed despised the white liquid. Al waved his heavy metal hand in a 'don't worry about it' way.

''Uh… coke please,'' I nodded and went to fetch the coke. In a way I was glad to get away from the living room. My mind was racing. So many things could go wrong tonight.

Inuyasha looked up from the pot of stew. After several lessons, Inuyasha had finally learned how to prepare a decent meal. Now, I relied on his cooking to get me through the day. I had asked for stew tonight in the hopes of putting Ed in a good mood. Stew was Ed's favorite.

''Hey, how are things going?'' he asked while stirring the contents of the pot. I sighed and rested my head against the fridge. Inuyasha smiled sympathetically. I tried to smile but it turned out to be more of a grimace.

''It was so much easier to tell Izumi. I don't know what I'm going to do.'' Inuyasha shrugged and I gently hit him on the arm before grabbing Ed's coke and going back to the living room.

I handed Ed the coke and sunk into an armchair. Ed opened it and took a couple of sips before putting it on the coffee table. He leaned back against the couch and gazed at me suspiciously. Al shifted slightly and shared a significant look with Ed. A look that meant they knew I was hiding something.

''What's going, Massy?'' Ed asked. Al's gaze shifted to my face and I found myself looking away. Why was this so difficult?!

''I…don't have the flu…'' I finally muttered. Why was I so nervous? I couldn't quite explain why at that very moment, I was so terrified to share this happy news with my brothers.

''Why have you been sick then?'' Al asked. I felt like I was being interrogated. I cleared my throat, which had once again gone dry, for the third time that evening.

''You're not sick, are you?'' Ed asked anxiously. I giggled a little and shook my head. Leave it to Ed to expect the worst.

''I'm not sick…I'm…pregnant…'' I mumbled. The carpet had suddenly become quite interesting. It was easier to look at than my brothers. All the things that could go wrong tonight once again raced through my mind.

''Really?'' I nodded without looking up. I still had no idea what their reactions would be. I was utterly terrified. There was no other way to describe how I felt at that very moment. I heard Inuyasha turn the stove off. That meant the stew was ready. Maybe that would appease Ed. They would be too busy enjoying the stew to be angry at me. I heard the couch creak as Ed stood and the mismatched steps as he crossed the room. I finally raised my eyes to meet his. He didn't look angry or upset; he was smiling.

''Can I feel your tummy?'' I nodded unable to hide my surprise. He hesitantly reached out one gloved hand and placed it gently on my stomach. His eyes widened in surprise. I bit my lip. What was he so surprised about?

''What is it, Brother?'' I looked over and noticed Al halfway out of his seat. What was going on? Was there something going on with Ed?

''How far along are you, Massy?'' I frowned slightly as I tried to remember. How far along was I? I was sure Dr. Knox had told me this morning.

''Uh…I'm sure he told me this morning…'' I said more to myself than Ed. Ed raised an eyebrow and glanced at Al. This was starting to get a bit annoying. Why couldn't I remember a bit of information I had learned this morning? Maybe Inuyasha could remember…

''Hang on…'' I finally replied getting to my feet. I couldn't believe how hard it was to remember this simple piece of information.

Inuyasha was ladling stew into three bowls. I slumped into one of the chairs and bit my lip. I was suddenly filled with the urge to cry and was busy trying not to give in. Inuyasha placed a bowl in front of me and called Ed and Al into the kitchen before placing the rest of the bowls at their respective places. Once everyone was seated, Ed looked at me. He appeared to be waiting for something. I wasn't sure what that could be though. The stew was ready. Did he want something else?

''So how far along are you?'' I smiled slightly as I remembered. I had come into the kitchen to ask Inuyasha how far along I was. For some reason, I couldn't remember how far along into my pregnancy I was. I didn't know why I hadn't asked. I gestured towards Inuyasha with my spoon and happily dug into my stew.

''Why don't you tell them, Massy?'' Inuyasha asked. I shrugged and continued eating my stew. What was wrong with Inuyasha telling them? I couldn't remember anyways. Inuyasha raised an eyebrow before turning back to my brothers.

''She's eight weeks into the pregnancy. I think that's about two months…'' Ah that's right! I was two months pregnant with more than one baby. Why hadn't I told them how far along I was? Maybe Inuyasha had wanted to do that…

''I was sure I felt a bump though…'' Ed muttered doubtfully. I wanted to giggle but this didn't feel like a good time. I frowned. Something weird was going on. I knew I'd wanted to tell my brothers everything about my pregnancy. I couldn't understand why I had let Inuyasha tell them how far along I was…

''You did, Ed. We're expecting more than one baby.'' Ed dropped his spoon and Al his book. I put my spoon down. I was still hungry but I didn't feel like eating anymore. Was it because of the pregnancy, or was it something else? Inuyasha reached across the table and squeezed my hand. I tried to smile but just couldn't manage to do so. Something was happening to me and I didn't know what it was. That terrified me. I'd been forgetting little things for a while but it hadn't seemed like anything to worry about. Now I was having trouble remembering things that had happened just minutes before. Were the babies the cause or was there something wrong with my head? Was I going crazy?

''Massy are you all right?'' I blinked and looked at Inuyasha. He had that look on his face that told me he knew I was hiding something. I shook my head and rubbed my temples. I wasn't sure why I wasn't all right. I knew something was wrong but I couldn't remember what it was. I was sure I'd been thinking about it a moment before though. Had it been important? Maybe Inuyasha knew. He always seemed to have the answers when I was having trouble with something. I didn't feel right telling him about this though. I had no right to make him worry. Come to think of it, I had been nothing but a worry lately.

''I'll be right back.'' I muttered before standing and hurrying down the hallway. I felt like I was going to explode. There were so many emotions running through my mind, I couldn't even focus on one. I sunk back into my armchair and buried my face in my hands. I was happy that I was expecting but I was also going out of my mind with worry. So many things could go wrong with a demon pregnancy, and it seemed that I was already having problems. I didn't know if it was the pregnancy causing the memory loss though. It was the only thing I could come up with.

''Massy, what's going on?'' Inuyasha had followed me into the living room. Why couldn't everyone just leave me alone? There was too much going on for me to focus on one problem. I heard movement coming from the kitchen and knew I had only minutes before my brothers joined us. I smiled weakly hoping it looked somewhat convincing.

''Nothing, I'm just tired.'' I replied. Inuyasha didn't seem satisfied with this answer, but he dropped the subject. I knew he would question my well being once my brothers had left. He plopped onto the couch and opened the box. It contained one of Gracia Hughes famous apple pies. Inuyasha placed the box back onto the coffee table and went to go help Al with the dishes. Ed entered the living room and took Inuyasha's seat. He grabbed a slice of pie and dug in happily.

''So how do you feel about being pregnant?'' he asked between mouthfuls of pie. I considered the question. How did I feel about being pregnant? I was overjoyed at the mere thought of being a mother. On the other hand, I wasn't sure I'd be any good at being a mother.

''I'm really happy, but I don't know if I'm ready. What if I'm no good at being a mother?'' I heard creaking footsteps and turned. Al was standing in the doorway nervously. Well as nervous as a suit of armor could appear to be. Ed finished his slice and reached for another.

''What is it, Al?'' he asked. Al rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at me nervously.

''Inuyasha wants to talk to you, Massy.'' I groaned. I thought he was going to wait until my brothers had left. Now they would hear too. That was the last thing I needed. They already had enough to worry about. I pushed myself out of the chair and went into the kitchen.

''What is it, Inuyasha?'' I snapped. I covered my mouth and looked at him apologetically. I hadn't meant to snap at him. I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes. Inuyasha stood from where he had been sitting at the table.

''You have been crying so much lately.'' He said gently. I furiously wiped the tears away with the back of my hand.

''It's just hormones. It's part of being pregnant. What did you want, Inuyasha?'' I muttered. Inuyasha motioned towards the table and waited until we were both seated before he answered me.

''What's going on? Why didn't you tell them how far along you were?'' He asked. I looked at my hands while I thought about the best way to answer. Inuyasha deserved an answer but I didn't want Ed and Al to be worried. They were probably listening through the door. I had to figure out a way to answer without letting them know what was going on. They weren't stupid though. They probably already suspected that there was something wrong.

''I already told you. I'm just really tired and I guess it's affecting my memory.'' I replied quietly. Inuyasha shook his head and sighed.

''I know there's more to it than that. If it were that simple, you wouldn't be crying about it.'' He stated calmly. He was right. If it were something that simple, it wouldn't be bothering me so much.

''I don't know what's going on, all right? There's too much going on.'' I whispered. ''I'm always worrying about Ed and Al. Every time they go on a mission, I worry until they come back. Then there's us. We live in a city where being a demon is against the law. We aren't chimeras but anyone who doesn't know us doesn't know that! Now I'm pregnant. There are so many things that could go wrong; I don't even know where to begin.'' I was exhausted. Today had been full of emotion. All I really wanted to do was go to sleep and hope things would be better in the morning.

''I've told you this again and again. It's not healthy to bottle up your emotions like that. It never makes you feel better. I know you don't like people to worry but I'm going to worry about you anyway. I'm always worried about you.''

''That's not everything though. There's something wrong with my memory.'' I didn't care if Ed and Al were listening in on our conversation anymore. I needed Inuyasha to realize I wasn't as perfect as he thought I was. I also needed him to realize how tired I was. The bed seemed so inviting at the moment. I was resisting the urge to leave the dining area and go to sleep. I knew Inuyasha wouldn't wait until morning to get answers though.

''What's wrong with your memory?'' I searched for the right words to explain what I thought was going on.

''I'm having memory relapses. I'm not sure why though.'' I explained. The same worries that had been plaguing my mind all evening once again ran through my head. Was there something wrong with my mind? Was my pregnancy the cause of this?

''Why didn't you tell me earlier? This could be serious, Massy!'' Inuyasha exclaimed indignantly. I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes at this point. I hadn't been able to do so for the entire conversation but now I couldn't even point my head in his direction. I was ashamed. It hadn't occurred to me that my memory problem could be or could turn into a serious issue. I was disgusting.

''I didn't think it was that serious! I've been having memory problems for ages. You know that! I thought I was just like everyone else! Everybody has trouble remembering things once in awhile, right? Why should I be any different? Oh I forgot! I'm a monster therefore I shouldn't be able to feel human emotions, or have human problems, right? You want to know why I didn't tell you earlier. I was tired of you having to worry about me all the time! I'm tired of being a bother!'' My voice had been rising with each word so now I was practically screaming at Inuyasha. He didn't even flinch. This made me even angrier for some reason. Why was I getting so angry over something this silly? Inuyasha gazed at me with something I couldn't quite name.

''You aren't a bother. How many times do I have to tell you that? I love taking care of you. You know that. We'll figure something out. We always do. For now I think you need some rest. First you need to take those vitamin things Dr. Knox gave you.'' Inuyasha was right. Some sleep would probably do me good. First I needed to go speak with my brothers. I pushed myself to a standing position and walked over to the cabinet where we were keeping my vitamins.

I opened the cabinet and rummaged through it for a minute before I found the small white bottle. I stared at it for a second. I really was pregnant. I was going to be a mommy. I was taking pills to help my babies.

''Are you planning on swallowing one dry, or do you want some water?'' I smiled and took the glass of water Inuyasha was holding out. He grinned and watched me take the pill. Now that that was over with, I needed to go talk with my brothers.

They both shot out of their seats when I entered the living room. I yawned and once again made myself comfortable in the armchair. That armchair and I were going to become the best of friends at this rate.

''All right, I'll answer any questions you have for twenty minutes.'' If they were surprised by the sudden change, they didn't show it.

''I can't really think of anything right now. Do you think we could call you if we think of anything?'' Ed asked. He had that look in his eyes. The look that appeared in every alchemist's eyes when they found something they wanted to study. I tried to not be offended by this. After all, Ed and Al didn't think of me like that, right? They didn't consider me an experiment, right?

''Of course you can. Is there anything else you want to talk about?'' They had both relaxed. There was a significant difference in their postures. I could still tell something was eating away at them. I wanted to be sure that there were no regrets tonight.

''We heard you talking with Inuyasha.'' Ed began sharing a look with Al. So they had been eavesdropping. He turned back to me looking both sheepish and apologetic. ''We might know what's going on with your memory.'' I gazed at him wearily. Would this be good news or bad news? I didn't know if I could handle any more bad news tonight. Ed opened his mouth to continue but the phone rang. I offered to get it even though I wanted to hear what Ed had to say more than anything. Al must know something as well.

''Hello?''

''Hello, can I speak to the Elric brothers? Fullmetal preferably as he is the Fullmetal Alchemist, obviously.'' I resisted the urge to slam the phone onto the table, or break it in half. Of course it was him. Who else could time an interruption so perfectly? I was sure he hadn't meant to interrupt what might have been life changing news, but I couldn't keep the irritation out of my voice as I replied.

''What makes you think that they're here, Roy?'' I didn't bother using his proper title. I didn't think he deserved it.

''They aren't answering their phone so I thought they might be at your house.'' I hated him. It was his fault Ed was in the military. It was his fault that my brothers went on dangerous missions and risked their lives.

''Well you were right.'' I replied. ''Hang on. I'll get Ed.'' I resisted the childish urge to simply hang up on the stupid bastard. Even if he was a bastard, he only called when he had found another lead for the Philosopher's Stone. Knowing how important this would be to my brothers was what gave me the will to call for Ed. ''Ed! It's Colonel Mustang!'' I heard grumbling as Ed walked, obviously unwillingly, down the hall. He reached for the phone and I handed it to him just as unwillingly. Maybe I could get Al to tell me something before they left. Knowing Mustang, they would have to leave as soon as Ed had gotten off the phone. This didn't give me much time. Mustang wasn't known for beating around the bush when he had something to tell Ed. The prospect of interrogating Al, considering I only had five minutes at most to interrogate him, just didn't sound inviting. I wanted today to end and nothing more than that. I would have to question the matter at another time.

I entered the living room ready to say my goodbyes. Even though the evening had been short, I still cherished any time I got to spend with my brothers. They spent more time on missions than not. Therefore I had made it my mission to spend as much time with them before they left on the next one.

Al was standing near the doorway ready to accompany Ed when they left. I stopped a few feet away from the huge suit of armor that had taken the place of my brother's body. He looked over obviously expecting Ed.

''Hey, Massy. Is he still talking with the Colonel?'' I nodded and leaned against the wall. Ed joined us a few minutes later. He threw an apologetic glance in my direction before turning to Al.

''It's another freakin mission and he needs us to come to the office. I swear! We only just got back from the last one and he's already sending us off on our merry way again.'' His voice was dripping with sarcasm. He waved in my general direction without turning around and left. Al waved as well before turning and following Ed. I waited until their footsteps had faded away before slamming the door shut.

''Couldn't even say goodbye!'' I muttered angrily before stomping away from the door. I intended to go to the bedroom and take a nice long nap. However, I was stopped by none other than my mate. He was sitting on the bed staring at the pictures that covered the walls. There were some from times in the Feudal Era, some from dates, and even one from a day we spent at the summer festival. Looking at these pictures of _happier_ times made me feel ill considering how I was feeling at the moment. He turned to face me and slowly got to his feet. It was then that I noticed he was also seething with rage. However, his rage had a more justified reason. In his hands were the scissors that I had cut my own wrists open with so many times. I instinctively grabbed my flesh arm and looked at the floor. All feelings of anger had been replaced with shame. Even though I knew he knew about the cutting, I had never expected him to find my tool for harming myself. I braced myself for what I knew was coming.

''Why can't you just come and talk to me instead of doing things like this?!'' he exploded. Even though I had been expecting it, I still flinched. Instead of responding, I burst into tears. His expression immediately softened. He dropped the scissors on the bed; the blade glinted dully in the moonlight streaming in through the window, and held out his arms. I staggered into them and sobbed into his chest. He was right. I had been crying a lot lately. I wasn't so sure that hormones were the cause anymore.

''It's just too much! I worry about them constantly especially when they go off on these stupid missions. When they leave, they don't even give me a second glance. I worry about you being found out. If the other alchemists found you… they would have no doubts about you being a chimera. Demons don't exist here. Now I'm going to be a mother. What if I fail my children just like I've failed everyone else? I'm a horrible disgusting monster. I don't know why I didn't come to you. I felt like I needed to be punished for the things I've done.'' Even though I had said all of this before, it still took all my willpower to tell Inuyasha. I was afraid he would realize what a horrible person I was and leave. I did hate myself more than anyone else but I would die if Inuyasha left.

''I'm not going to leave. Nothing you say will change that. However, I'm getting rid of these.'' He held up the bloodstained scissors. ''You are going to sleep and we will continue this tomorrow.'' I nodded and crawled under the warm sheets. I heard the door shut and sat up. He was just going to get rid of the scissors, I reassured myself. Still I wouldn't be able to sleep until he was back. I wrapped a blanket around my body and wandered into the living room.

Once I was settled on the couch, I stared at the door determined to stay awake until he returned. I knew it was childish. I was like a child waiting for her father to come back from work. It just felt so empty without Inuyasha. I didn't like being alone. When I was alone, the voices started speaking to me. They told me what no one else did. They pointed out my flaws and told me what a horrible person I was. Who was telling the truth? Inuyasha or the voices?

Inuyasha's Point of View

I leaned against the door with the scissors in my hand. I couldn't believe how stupid I'd been. I knew she'd been cutting but I had never once bothered to go search for whatever she was cutting with. I had allowed this to continue. She might have continued cutting even if I had gotten rid of the scissors earlier. She would've found something else. She could be searching for something right now. I opened the door and peered inside.

Massy was curled up on the couch. I crept inside not wanting to wake her in case she had fallen asleep. On her bad days, she didn't like to be alone, and she refused to do anything but sit on the couch unless someone was with her. She turned her head a bit and frowned slightly.

''You still have the scissors.'' I felt guilty but I had to make sure she wasn't searching for anything else to hurt herself with. I stared at her for a second. Something wasn't right. She didn't sound upset that I hadn't gotten rid of the scissors. She sounded…relieved.

''Massy I'm getting rid of these. You had better not be searching for something else to hurt yourself with when I get back. You don't need to punish yourself. I'll be back in a couple of minutes, okay?'' she nodded a bit reluctantly and settled back onto the couch. I turned around and left hoping she would listen.

As I walked, I squeezed the scissors into a useless lump. I was careful with the blade, making sure I never hurt myself. When I'd arrived at the garbage disposal, the scissors were unrecognizable. I threw them down the shoot and headed back towards the apartment. I would never be able to look at another pair of scissors again without remembering what Massy had done.

I once again peered inside the apartment and found Massy was no longer on the couch. Frowning, I shut the door and looked around. Had she ignored me and searched for another sharp object? She hadn't cut herself, I was certain of that much. I would've felt it.

''Massy I'm back!'' I called softly. I heard a door open and watched as Massy walked down the hallway. I smiled in relief. She wasn't holding anything sharp and I hadn't heard her hide anything. She stopped a few feet away from me.

''I'm going to bed.'' She said. When I nodded, she hurried back into the bedroom. I heard the door slam and sighed. Something was bothering her, but I knew I wouldn't be getting any answers tonight. She needed sleep anyway. She had had an exhausting day. I decided to go make some tea. She wouldn't be getting any sleep if she was upset. She needed to relax.

Masamori's Point of View

I heard Inuyasha set the tea pot on the stove and leaned against the door. I didn't really want to be alone and tea did sound nice. I opened the door as quietly as I could and tiptoed down the hallway. For some reason, I felt like I should be in bed.

I stopped a few feet away from the kitchen and watched Inuyasha make the tea. The smell was intoxicating. I had always loved the smell of tea, but I had only started drinking it recently. Inuyasha lifted the tea pot off of the stove and poured the tea into two cups. He wordlessly handed me a cup and walked into the living room. I took the cup and followed him. There was no chance of getting the scissors back now. I shook my head. I shouldn't be thinking like that. I was pregnant after all.

Inuyasha settled himself in the armchair and sipped his tea. I sat on the edge of the couch but didn't touch my tea. Someone other than Inuyasha was watching me. Someone wanted to take the babies away from me because I was a bad mother. The voices had told me. They had told me horrible things…

''Are you all right?'' I shook my head. I wanted to laugh at the question. Was I all right? No I was not all right. I hadn't felt 'all right' for a long time. Nothing was all right. Nothing was ever all right.

''No I'm not all right! Why would I be all right?'' Inuyasha put his cup down and crossed his arms. I had started another argument, but at the moment I couldn't care less. I wanted someone to feel as unhappy as I was. Maybe if I screamed at him, he would feel unhappy and we could both be unhappy together.

''What could possibly be wrong now? I already told you that there is no reason to punish yourself and you aren't a monster. I thought you had gotten everything off of your chest.'' He said. I growled and sipped my tea.

''This is different!'' I whined. Now I wanted Inuyasha to comfort me. I didn't want to fight anymore. I just wanted him to make me feel better and then we could both go to bed. I wanted us both to be happy.

''What is it?'' he asked all signs of irritation gone. I put my cup down and held out my arms. He shook his head but grinned and stood. He crossed the room and lifted me into his arms. He got back into the armchair and looked at me expectantly.

''I'm scared.'' I mumbled. The voices didn't seem so scary anymore. I was in Inuyasha's arms. He would protect me.

''What could you possibly be afraid of? I'm here to chase the nightmares away.'' He never ceased to amaze me. He always managed to hit the nail on the head. The voices and the nightmares were related in a sense.

''That's part of it. The voices won't leave me alone either. I'm afraid to go to sleep.'' I explained. I knew I sounded crazy and maybe I was. However, Inuyasha was right. It didn't do me any good to hold all my problems in.

''You'll be fine. You're not alone. Now, let's go get some sleep.'' I glanced at the clock. It was 11:40. It wasn't too late. Inuyasha and I never stayed up past midnight though. I nodded but made no move to get off of Inuyasha. He stood, carrying me bridal style, and went to the bedroom.

I pressed myself against Inuyasha as we curled up under the blankets. Even though I knew he wasn't going to leave, a small part of my mind had to make sure he was still there. He wrapped one arm around my waist. He had placed his hand on my belly. I put my hand over his and smiled. Everything would be okay. Everything had to be okay.

I felt the bed creak as Inuyasha shifted. I opened my eyes and turned my head so I could see what he was doing. Inuyasha didn't really move much in his sleep. He had spent so much time sleeping in trees; he didn't move much wherever he slept. I watched as he sat up and stretched. I was about to ask him where he was going when I heard it. The phone was ringing. I sat up in the bed and rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

I heard Inuyasha walk down the hallway and answer the phone. I strained my ears a bit so I could hear what was going on.

''Hello,'' I couldn't hear what the other person was saying. I glanced at the clock. It was 3:43. Who would be calling this late? I was tempted to get out of bed and figure out who it was. I already had one foot out of bed when Inuyasha's next words reached my ears. ''Okay. I'll go get her.'' Who would want to talk to me? It was almost four in the morning. Who hadn't been able to wait until morning? I pulled on Inuyasha's Robe of the Fire Rat for warmth and left the bedroom.

Inuyasha handed me the phone and leaned against the wall. I took it and held it to my ear.

''Hello,''

''Hey, Massy! It's Ed.'' I resisted the urge to scream at him. He hadn't even said goodbye when he'd left the previous evening and now he was calling me at four in the morning! I wasn't really that angry though. Ed and Al were busy people. It had to be the mood swings talking.

''Do you know what time it is?'' I asked jokingly. I heard him chuckle.

''Yeah sorry about that,'' I could just see him rubbing the back of his head sheepishly and glancing at Al. ''something occurred to us and I couldn't wait until morning to ask you about it.''

''What is it?'' I asked. What could be so important? Ed wasn't a very patient person but he usually didn't call at four in the morning unless it was an emergency. ''it's not something bad, is it?''

''No, no nothing like that,'' I heard Al's armor creak over the phone. Ed sounded nervous. What had frightened the famed Fullmetal Alchemist, hero of the people? ''we were just wondering who else knows about your pregnancy?'' How had they found out about that? I guess I shouldn't expect anything else from two overprotective brothers who were also both alchemy prodigies.

''I told Izumi and Sig before you and Al came over.'' I replied.

''Did you know she was in Central?'' he questioned. I glanced at Inuyasha. That had been quick. She and Sig must have gotten on a train after she had gotten off of the phone.

''No,'' I replied. Why was Ed calling me about Izumi's whereabouts at this hour? Did she need someone to pick her up?

''She just called me from a hotel. She said she'll be at your apartment tomorrow, well later today, but she needs the address. I already gave it to her.'' My eyebrows knit together. Ed wouldn't tell me about this at this time. Izumi could've shown up and told me herself.

''Ed we both know that isn't why you called. So why did you call, really?'' The phone went silent for a minute.

''I was calling to finish our conversation.'' He finally answered. What conversation was he talking about? We had talked about a lot of things before he and Al had left. I wasn't sure how to reply considering I didn't have any idea about what he was talking about.

''Ok,'' I replied. It seemed safe to answer this way. It allowed Ed to finish whatever conversation he was talking about, and it also hid the fact that I had no idea about what he was talking about.

''I think I know why you've been having trouble with your memory.'' He began. I was having trouble with my memory? That was news to me. That would explain why I couldn't recall the earlier conversation though. I heard Ed take a deep breath. ''Massy do you remember how Mom died?''

''Of course I do!'' I exclaimed angrily. Why wouldn't I remember my mother's own death? I glared at the wall pretending it was Ed before launching into a rant. ''Why wouldn't I remember that? She…she…she…uh…''

''You just proved my suspicions. You've been blocking painful memories though I don't know how long you've been doing this. It's causing memory relapses. That's just a theory, and I'm not sure how to fix it.'' That couldn't be true. I could remember painful moments in my life! I had remembered my failed Human Transmutation attempt only yesterday! Before I could tell Ed this, I realized that memory was also becoming fuzzy. Ed was right. I had done this to myself and there might not be a way to reverse the effects. I slumped against the wall, dropping the phone in the process, and buried my face in my hands. I heard Inuyasha pick the phone up.

''Hey? Yeah, she'll be okay. She's just upset. I know you didn't mean to upset her. Of course I'll take care of her. Yeah, don't worry. Okay, bye.'' I heard the phone being placed back in its cradle and slowly raised my head. Inuyasha helped me to my feet, but soon found out I couldn't hold myself up. He supported me down the hallway and back to our bedroom.

Once I was back in bed, he left and returned with our tea. I wordlessly took mine and sipped the warm liquid. I wasn't in the mood for tea; I was drinking it to keep my mouth occupied. I couldn't talk to Inuyasha yet. I wasn't sure what he knew, but I knew he wouldn't be happy to learn I had been hurting myself again even if it hadn't been intentional.

''I heard what he said, you know.'' Inuyasha said. I almost dropped my cup but managed to keep a grip on the handle of the cup. Inuyasha was about to lecture me, I knew it. I bowed my head and braced myself for what I knew was coming. I heard a cup being placed upon the bedside table and felt strong warm arms wrapping around my shivering frame.

''I'm sorry!'' I whispered putting every ounce of feeling I could manage into those two words. ''I didn't realize what I was doing until Ed explained the situation!''

''I'm not angry with you.'' He said gently. I raised my head and turned so I could see his face. He was smiling but the concern was in his face was obvious. ''I'm worried about you, of course. Why wouldn't I be? I don't blame you for blocking those memories. I would've done the same.''

''So you're not mad?'' I asked quietly. I felt like a child but I had to make sure. I didn't care when other people were angry or upset with me, but Inuyasha being angry or upset was completely different. It felt like I had let my mate down. Inuyasha shook his head and removed the cup from my shaking fingers and placed it on the bedside table next to the other cup.

''Let's try to get a few more hours of sleep. It's still pretty early.'' I nodded and settled myself into a comfortable position on the bed. Inuyasha lay down next to me and kissed my forehead before closing his eyes. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

I woke up to the smell of…breakfast. That was the only way I could describe the smell tickling my delicate nose. I shoved the blankets off my body and ran as fast as I dared to the kitchen. Inuyasha was busy whipping up a feast. I felt myself drooling and quickly wiped my chin. Inuyasha turned and smiled.

''Good morning, love. Are you hungry?'' My stomach rumbled loudly and he laughed. ''I guess so. Breakfast is almost ready.''

''Breakfast?! This is a feast! What's the occiasion?'' I questioned staring hungrily at the many pots and pans covering our stove and counters. My mouth was practically overrun by the saliva as I watched him place some fried eggs on a plate.

''Your pregnancy and my love for you.'' He replied simply. ''Now, go sit. I assume you want some of everything?'' I nodded eagerly and hurried to sit at the table. I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited for Inuyasha to finish cooking breakfast. Finally Inuyasha brought me a plate laden with fried eggs, bacon, various fruits, toast, cereal, different types of muffins, and juice. He placed the plate in front of me and laughed as I dug into it with animalistic enthusiasm. Inuyasha started on his own plate which I noticed had smaller portions of food on it. I chose to ignore this. I was actually happy that I had more food than he did. Once I was finished, Inuyasha carried my plate to the sink, stopping to place a kiss on my cheek.

''I hope you know how much I love you!'' I called rubbing my stomach. The baby, it seemed, felt as content as I did.

''Is it because I can cook?'' he called back teasingly. I giggled shaking my head even though I knew he couldn't see through walls.

''I love you for you, silly! Of course any sane person would die without your cooking.'' I replied happily. For once I was having a nice morning. I couldn't remember the last time I had been this happy. Of course I was having problems with my memory but that didn't really matter to me at the moment. I had Inuyasha to help me so it didn't seem like that big of an issue. Nothing could ruin this blissful moment. Or so I thought…

**Sodom: **Tee hee hee. Cliffie...cliffie...I dont even care if it doesnt count as one! I say its a cliffie!

**Emo: **Dont throw any flaming torches at me! I hate cliffies too, but I wanted to write one!

**Sodom: **Poor Emo. We always give her such a hard time. =), Well, until next time! Please R&R and we will get the next chapter up soon! Bye!


	3. Chapter 3

**Sodom: **I'm soooooooo sorry for not posing this earlier! I i got so caught up in homework cuz i was GONW an entire week of school and im gettin overloaded with make up work! Again, IM SORRY! Here is the next chapter so dont kill me!

**Emo: **You should die. *Glares evily at me*

**Sodom: ***quakes in fear*

''I love you for you, silly! Of course I would die without your cooking though.'' I replied happily. For once I was having a nice morning. I couldn't remember the last time I had been this happy. Of course I was having problems with my memory but that didn't really matter to me at the moment. I had Inuyasha to help me so it didn't seem like that big of an issue. Nothing could ruin this blissful moment. Or so I thought… The sound of the phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts. I heard the sound of the water running into the sink and knew it was up to me to answer the phone. I rose from my seat and walked over to the phone. Wondering what Ed could possibly want this time, I picked the phone up.

''Hello,'' Immediately a somber air filled the hallway. It was almost as if it had leaked out of the phone. I had the sudden urge to put the phone back in the cradle. Whatever it was surely couldn't be that important, right?

''Hello, Masamori. This is Colonel Roy Mustang,'' I bit my lip. Anything he had to say couldn't be important. I resisted the urge to tell him that Ed and Al weren't here and to quit calling me. Then it occurred to me that he must know Ed and Al weren't here, and that he might be calling because something had happened.

''Are my brothers all right?'' I asked filled with worry. It has hard to believe that only a moment before I had been at peace with the world. A small part of me wished I hadn't answered the phone. Roy almost seemed hesitant to answer my question. It was hard to tell over the phone.

''That's why I'm calling. I called your brothers into my office yesterday to tell them that Mr. Tucker was expecting them to return soon. He had something to show them. Did they tell you that Mr. Tucker was the first alchemist to create a chimera that spoke English?''

''Yes but I didn't believe them.'' I replied. What did this have to do with Ed and Al's well being? Had Tucker done something to them?

''They left my office certain that Tucker was going to show them his second talking chimera. When they got to Tucker's home, it appeared that no one was home. They searched the entire estate and eventually found him in his laboratory. There in the center of the room was Tucker's second talking chimera. Ed and Al were excited by this until the chimera spoke.'' My mouth had gone dry. I could see what was going to happen. How evil people like Shou Tucker could exist just didn't make sense.

''He used his daughter and his dog.'' It was more of a statement than a question. Nina and Alexander had been fused together by alchemy. As I thought more about the Shou Tucker situation, more things made sense. I cleared my throat. ''He made the first one with his wife and something else?''

''Yes, he did.'' If Mustang was surprised, he didn't sound like it. ''Authorities came to Tucker's estate to arrest Tucker and take Nina and Alexander to the lab. Ed tipped the truck containing Nina over and she escaped. You have heard of Scar?''

''Yeah,'' Scar was involved too? How could Mustang always call with bad news? Did anything good ever happen to the man? As the silence grew, I once again put two and two together. Nina had escaped and Scar had been in the area. I felt a lump in my throat but managed to ask, ''he killed Nina, didn't he?''

''Yes. Ed and Al were the ones who found her body, or what was left of it.'' It all made sense. Ed was blaming himself for the situation. Roy wanted me to talk to him. Well, he had picked the wrong person to cheer Ed up. I was hardly qualified to cheer someone up. What could I say? I couldn't see how Ed was blaming himself. Al must be feeling pretty bad too, but he wasn't blaming himself. I knew that much.

''I know what you want me to do, Roy. I'll do what I can.'' Roy sighed. I forced myself not to groan. There was more bad news. How much bad news could one person handle before they exploded?

''That's not all. Ed quit today. He walked in, handed me his pocket watch, and left.'' I didn't see how Roy expected me to cheer Ed up if he had already gone that far. I had to save Ed from repeating my mistakes though. That was the least I could do. That was probably all I could do. Al was probably doing a better job at cheering Ed up right now anyway.

''All right. I'll see what I can do. Bye, Roy.'' I put the phone back in the cradle and stared at it for a few seconds before picking it up again. I wanted to go and seek comfort from Inuyasha but I knew better than anyone that depression didn't wait for someone to make a phone call. If Ed was going to do something stupid, he wouldn't wait for me to call him. I dialed their number and waited, silently praying that Ed would be the one to answer.

''Hello,'' It was Ed but he didn't sound like Ed. He sounded dull and lifeless. He didn't sound at all like the bundle of crazy energy that I was used to.

''Ed it's me. Do you want me to come over or are you and Al going to come over here?'' The silence that followed these words lasted so long I was sure Ed had hung up on me.

''Can you come over?''

''Yeah of course I will. I'll be there in about an hour. I'll come alone. Someone needs to be here to greet Izumi and Sig.'' I didn't feel the usual air of fear that followed someone uttering Izumi Curtis's name. Ed couldn't be that bad, could he?

''Okay, see you then.'' I hung up and went into the kitchen. Worry and fear plagued my mind. Couldn't I be happy for five minutes without something going wrong? Was I doomed to unhappy for the rest of my life? That would last a long time considering I was a demon.

Inuyasha looked up from the sink full of dirty breakfast dishes. I couldn't even laugh at how much we'd eaten and what a mess it had created. I pulled my tangled hair into a messy pony tail and planted a quick kiss on his lips.

''Where do you think you're going?'' he asked teasingly. I managed a weak smile but knew it hadn't gone to my eyes. Inuyasha had also noticed.

''I'm going to Ed and Al's. Something happened. I need you to stay here so someone will be here to greet Izumi and Sig.'' he didn't look happy but nodded anyway. I waved halfheartedly and went to the front door.

I grabbed my jacket off of the coat rack and left. I could only hope my trip would fulfill its purpose. I shut the door and leaned against it. I had grown accustomed to feeling dread, but not for my brothers' well being. I knew Al wouldn't do anything stupid but he was a suit of armor. I hated to think like that but it was true. There wasn't a whole lot he could do. Ed, however, was a human and could do quite a lot. I pulled myself away from the wall and headed towards the elevator.

I stopped outside the barracks. It appeared to be a cold stone building. How Ed and Al could live here without going insane was beyond me. It was too plain and generic. I stepped into what I assumed was the lobby area and glanced around. It was dark and cold. There was a metal staircase against one wall and a couple of chairs in the corners of the room. The rest of the room was empty. I walked over to the staircase and placed one of my hands on the cold railing. It was no or never. It was up to me to save Ed from himself.

I wandered down the hallway glancing at doors as I passed. There were dusty plaques on the doors that bore the names of the occupants. I finally stopped in front of 'Elric'. I took a deep breath and knocked lightly on the door. I heard loud creaking footsteps running towards the door that was flung open. Al was standing in the doorway.

''Hello, Massy. Now isn't really a good time-'' I pushed past him and went straight to Ed's bedroom. I knew Al meant well but he didn't understand. No one could really understand depression unless they had gone through it themselves.

''Ed are you going to open the door, or do you want me to?'' I called through the wooden door. I heard a loud groan before Ed replied.

''Go ahead,'' I opened the door and peered inside. Ed was sitting on the edge of his bed. There was an air of hopelessness about him. I took a deep breath and walked over to the bed. Ed looked up from his knees.

''Ed I didn't come here to waste my time spewing a bunch of crap. I know exactly how you feel, okay?'' It sounded like a good start to me. I had told the truth, after all.

''Yeah sure you do.'' He muttered. I resisted the urge to slap him but I couldn't keep the anger out of my face or voice as I replied.

''How do you know I don't, Edward? I came here to help you, not argue with you.'' I ripped my jacket off revealing the tank top I'd been wearing since the night before, and the white scars covering my arm. Ed rose halfway off of the bed and reached out a hand.

''Why would you…?'' he seemed incapable of finishing. I shook my head and pulled the jacket back on. This was about him not me.

''Ed how do you feel about what happened to Nina?'' I wasn't going to waste time. I needed to save Ed from depression. I didn't intend on wasting time on crap that had no meaning. I needed him to listen.

''I feel sad of course. What else would I feel?'' I shook my head. He wasn't lying but it still hurt that he couldn't be honest with me. I knew he told Al everything but he couldn't let me in on the state of his health. I wasn't one to judge though. I hadn't been completely honest with them either.

''Ed you know that's not what I meant. I'm not going to force you to tell me anything, but you should know that it isn't healthy to hold all your emotions in. I know better than anyone. It will do more harm than good. Now, should I leave, or are you going to talk?'' Ed bit his lip and stared at the wall. I wasn't sure if anything I'd said had gotten through his head, but I had told Roy I would try. Even if I didn't like him, I intended to keep my word.

''I know it isn't. I just feel…guilty… I feel like I should have known what was going on. If I had figured out what was going on earlier, Nina and Alexander would still be…'' He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. I felt slightly relieved. I still had a long way to go, but I was making some process.

''That wasn't your fault. Not even the military realized how unstable Tucker was. I know you're an alchemy prodigy but that doesn't mean you have to go around solving all the world's problems.'' I muttered. I was even more determined to save my brother from my fate. No one deserved to feel how I did. I should be the only one to suffer that fate.

''Everyone keeps saying that, but I should've seen the signs!'' Ed began. I cut him off. Why couldn't he see that it wasn't his fault?

''How many times do I have to say it? It wasn't your fault! I don't know how you got to that conclusion but it's not true! No one saw how unstable he was! He hid it well! I don't care what you say! I refuse to stand by and let one of my brothers suffer a fate that only I deserve!'' I exploded. Was this how Inuyasha felt? How could I act like this? It caused him pain that I couldn't feel. How disgusting could I get? Was it possible for a person to be this disgusting? Ed stared at me for a second before resuming his dead pan stare at the wall. It must have been a sign. He was telling me that the conversation was over, and he couldn't stand being in my presence a moment longer. I didn't know how long I'd been in here, but it had obviously been a waste of his time. I left, taking care to slam the door behind me, and headed towards the front door. Al held out a huge metal arm in an attempt to block me. I glared at him before pushing his arm out of my way.

''How is he?'' I stopped in front of the door, one hand on the cold knob. Should I even answer? Al probably already knew. Ed did tell him everything, after all.

''If you don't know, I suggest you go ask him. He does tell you everything, after all. My help was obviously not wanted.'' I replied coldly before yanking the door open and slamming the door shut behind me. I stomped down the hallway, angry at myself for even thinking that Ed would accept my help.

I wrenched the door to my apartment open and stomped inside. I heard footsteps hurry down the hallway and looked over. Inuyasha was standing a few feet away. I threw my jacket in the general direction of the coat rack and slammed the door shut.

''Inuyasha I don't want to talk about it, okay? It was an obvious waste of time.'' I muttered. I heard voices coming from the living room. Izumi and Sig had obviously arrived. I wasn't in the mood to go greet them but with Izumi, you never really had a choice. I wasn't afraid of her, but I didn't feel like disgusting anyone else today.

''I don't care if you don't want to talk about it. This isn't good for you or the babies.'' He replied calmly. I didn't understand! How could he act so calm at a time like this?

''Fine! Tucker fused his dog and daughter together using alchemy and Ed and Al were the ones who found him! Scar killed Nina and Ed is blaming himself! I went over there to stop him from making my stupid mistakes, but it didn't work! I don't think he even listened to me! He probably didn't care! I failed my brothers once again, but what else is new? I fail everyone!'' I shouted. I was breathing heavily and felt a bit dizzy, but I didn't care. Inuyasha held out his arms and waited. I stood there for a second before pushing past him, and straight into the living room.

Izumi and Sig appeared to be in deep discussion. I stood there for a second before clearing my throat, announcing my presence. Izumi turned and Sig raised his head to meet my eyes. I glanced at both of them before stalking into the kitchen. If they wanted to talk, they could follow me. I doubted that would happen though. I was, after all, a disgusting demon that managed to hurt people without trying.

I pressed my forehead against the glass of the sliding door and sighed. No matter what people said, I wasn't free. I was trapped behind this glass because I was different. I couldn't even go outside without a hat and gloves. I had to hide the fact that I was different from the disapproving people of Central. If I went outside without my hat, people would know I was a demon. They would call the military and I would be classified as a chimera and shipped off to a secret lab. If I went outside without my gloves, people would know I had performed the Taboo, and I would be sent to prison. I pressed a hand against the glass and watched my breath fog up the clear barrier. I was trapped because I wasn't _human_. I felt a hand on my shoulder and smelled Inuyasha's scent. I had always loved his scent. He smelled of cherry blossoms and something earthy.

''What do you want for lunch?'' I shrugged without looking away from something only I could see. I could see the rolling green hills of the Feudal Era. I could see the cherry blossom trees and the crystal clear lakes. I could be free there. I could walk through the villages without wearing a disguise. I would still get judged of course, but it wouldn't hurt as bad. At least there were other demons there. I wouldn't be so alone. I was alone there, though. As far as I knew, I was one of the few Fallen Angels left. No matter what I did, no matter where I went, I was alone. I felt my fingers curl into a fist and closed my eyes. I didn't understand! Why was I such a bad person? What had I done to deserve this fate?

''Inuyasha do you ever feel…alone?'' I murmured finally taking my gaze off of my fantasy. Inuyasha looked away from the fridge. The surprise was evident in his face. I sat at the kitchen table and stared at the wilting flowers. How long had we had those flowers? I couldn't even remember getting them…

''Of course I don't feel alone. I have you, don't I?'' Before I could answer, the shrill sound of the phone ringing hit my sensitive ears. I shook my head instinctively and went to go answer it. It had to be either Ed or Roy. Maybe it would be Al. They were the only three people who would have a reason for calling me or Inuyasha.

''Hello,'' I answered in a monotone sort of voice. It felt as if all emotion had left my body as I walked towards the phone. Nothing mattered anymore. Even if my world was over, the rest of the world was going on. This meant I had to answer the phone.

''Massy you were right.'' Ed replied with any sort of hello. I shrugged even though I knew Ed couldn't see me. It didn't matter if I'd been right or wrong. Ed couldn't have been pulled out of his depression that easily. It just didn't work like that. Maybe it did. How would I know?

''Right about what, Ed?'' I asked in the same monotone voice.

''I was being stupid. I knew it wasn't my fault, but I…felt like I could've done more, you know? I know I couldn't have done anything now, but at the time, I felt so blind. I couldn't believe I'd missed obvious signs of a man's insanity. Do you think Al and I could come over?'' he asked nervously. I thought about his request. I didn't really feel like hosting a huge party of people, but what choice did I have? I shouldn't turn down my family no matter how crappy I felt.

''Of course you can. You're always welcome here, you know that. I've got to go. See you when you get here.'' I replied before hanging up. I looked down at my rumpled cloths. I should change. I hadn't changed since last night. I also needed to take my prenatal vitamins. I shuffled into my room in a sort of robotic fashion. I felt, there was no other word for it, dead.

I rummaged through the drawers of my dresser, not sure what I was looking for. I finally decided on a black dress that looked like an oversized tank top, and pulled my pajamas off. I pulled the dress on, and threw my old cloths in the hamper. I glanced at the mirror and saw my hair had collected an ungodly amount of tangles. I ripped the pony tail out and yanked through my hair. Once it was rid of tangles, I glanced at my reflection again. I appeared decent now. Maybe I could show my face without disgusting people.

I could smell whatever Inuyasha was cooking for lunch from the hallway. I stood there for a second trying to name the delicious smell before going to investigate. I heard a knock at the door and debated ignoring it, before deciding I couldn't do that.

I gripped the door knob, trying to get my emotions under control. I wouldn't let Ed or Al see how upset the morning's events had made me. I could always say it was hormones, but they weren't stupid. One of them would put the pieces together and figure out what was going on. Ed's fist pounded against the wood of the door so I quickly plastered a smile to my face before opening the door.

''Hey, guys! Come on in! Make yourselves at home. Izumi and Sig are in the living room so feel free to join them. I'm going to go check on lunch.'' I quickly walked away from the door, feeling the smile slid off of my face.

I shut the door to the kitchen and glanced at Inuyasha. I was still curious about the delicious smell. Inuyasha was stirring a pot of macaroni. I watched the cheesy noodles cook for a moment before going back to the sliding glass door. I pressed my hand against it and stared at my fantasy again. I couldn't hide from the truth. I missed living in the Feudal Era. I missed the freedom that walking around the village gave me. There, I could converse with humans without a disguise. I didn't have to fear being experimented on because alchemy simply did not exist there. I could lay in a field of white lilies for hours at a time without having to worry about drunks or rapists, or any of the other questionable characters that inhabited Central after sundown. I was trapped between two worlds; there was no getting around that fact. I was compelled to live in Central because of my love for my brothers, and yet I was drawn to the other world because of the freedom it gave me. There was no middle ground. I would have to give something up no matter what I chose.

''What are you thinking about?'' Inuyasha questioned. I blinked and watched as my fantasy disappeared. Disappointed, I turned to look at Inuyasha. He was ladling macaroni into bowls. I stared at the wonderfully gooey cheesy noodles before answering.

''It's nothing. I'm just feeling a bit of nostalgia.'' I wondered if Inuyasha missed the Feudal Era as much as me. He had been born and raised there, after all. Surely he missed it to some degree, right? We had shared so many happy memories there…

_I climbed out of the Bone Eater's well, hoping the tears on my face weren't too obvious. I wanted to have one last happy day with Inuyasha. I didn't want to taint the day with my tears. I adjusted the jacket I had donned that day. It wouldn't do for Inuyasha to see my arms. Who was I kidding? Inuyasha would smell the metallic scent of blood covering my body, the salty tracks the tears had left behind. I glanced up at the sky and noticed that there was no moon to be seen. I felt my fingers curl into fists. Why had I snuck back to the Feudal Era in the dead of night? I wanted to say goodbye to Inuyasha without him knowing. I wanted one last glimpse of his face before I ended it all. I was a coward. I couldn't even face my love when I had plans of suicide. I didn't want to be talked out of it. Even if he was a human, he would sense that something was wrong. Even though he never talked about his own emotions, he always seemed to be able to tell when something was bothering me. I wrapped the jacket tighter around my small frame and hurried down the dirt path that led to the village._

_I stopped outside the hut Inuyasha shared with Kikyo and Kaede. Since Inuyasha was technically a child in the eyes of the humans, he had to live with an adult. I could hear angry voices coming from inside the hut. I glanced at the sky again. It was well past midnight. What would Inuyasha and Kaede be arguing about at this hour? Since I was a demon, I didn't have to strain to hear what they were saying. My sensitive cat ears could hear them quite easily._

_''I have to go Kaede! She's going to do something stupid, I know it!'' Inuyasha snapped. I didn't have to think about who 'she' could be. It was obviously me. So, I was going to do something stupid, was I? Ridding the world of a monster like me was stupid, was it?_

_''I realize that, Inuyasha! I just don't see why you have to go right now!'' Kaede spat. So they were arguing about me. I didn't stick around long enough to hear the rest of the argument. I spun around and ran back towards the well. I wouldn't be able to see Inuyasha one last time, but at least I'd gotten to hear his voice. _

_I stopped in front of the well and slumped against it. I just didn't have the energy to go home, not tonight. I closed my eyes and stuck my hand inside my pocket. I fingered the pair of scissors that had become my best friend since that day. My fingers closed around the handle and began the familiar process of pulling the scissors out of their current hiding place. I bit my lip and shoved them back into my pocket. I couldn't cut myself here. It would attract too much attention from other demons. I didn't want someone else to kill me._

_''Massy? When did you get here?'' the familiar voice cut through my heart like jagged glass. I kept my eyes closed and pulled my hand out of my pocket. I couldn't look at him. If I did, I would abandon my plan and the world would have to put up with me for who knows how long. _

_''A few minutes ago. What are you doing, Inuyasha?'' I muttered. It was more of a statement than a question. I already knew why he'd come to the well. He didn't know I'd overheard him talking to Kaede. _

_''Are you mad at me? Is something wrong?'' Inuyasha questioned in the worried tone he seemed to only use for me. Didn't he ever worry about anyone or anything else? I was hardly the most important thing in his life. I shook my head slowly and opened my eyes reluctantly. Inuyasha was kneeling in front of me, his head was cocked to one side. He looked worried and curious._

_''No, Inuyasha I'm not mad at you. Why would I be mad at you? You didn't do anything!'' I buried my face in my hands and started sobbing. Inuyasha wrapped his arms around me. I pressed my face against his kimono and continued to sob. Inuyasha pulled me into his lap and rested his chin on the top of my head. Eventually I calmed down and gently untangled myself from his arms. He stood as well and gazed at me with something I couldn't quite name. Before I knew what was happening, the space between us was once again closed and Inuyasha's soft lips were pressed against mine. My first kiss, I thought weakly._

I blinked and noticed Inuyasha placing the bowls at the table. He smiled at me, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. Had I done something to upset him? Again? That couldn't the case! All I'd been doing was thinking! That couldn't possibly anger him, could it? I watched as he placed the last bowl at its respective place, wondering what I had possibly done now.

''Inuyasha is something wrong?'' I questioned nervously. Inuyasha crossed the room and raised his hand. I made myself stand still. Inuyasha had never hit me, but that didn't make the urge to flinch go away. He gently wiped a couple tears away and kissed me lightly. I'd been crying? Why had I been crying?

''Why were you thinking about something that would make you cry?'' He asked in a broken voice. I cleared my throat and wiped away the rest of the tears. I wouldn't lie to him, but I didn't know how to tell him what I'd been thinking about without bursting into tears again.

''I was thinking about the Feudal Era. I love living here and being able to talk to my brothers every day, but I miss being able to walk through the village square without a disguise. I miss everything about the Feudal Era!'' I hastily wiped away the tears that had started to form at the corners of my eyes. Inuyasha stared at me obviously surprised. So, he didn't miss the Feudal Era?

''Why didn't you just tell me? We could've gone to visit!'' He exclaimed. I shrugged and pressed my face against his chest. The smell of macaroni teased my delicate nose. If I hadn't been so upset, I would have smiled at the delicious smell.

''I didn't know if you missed it as much as I did, and besides I'm tired of being such a bother. You're always doing things for me but I'm never doing anything for you.'' I replied after a bit of thought. It was true. I couldn't remember the last time I'd done something for him. However, over the past few days, Inuyasha had comforted me, taken care of me, and now he was offering to take me back to the Feudal Era.

''Have you ever considered I like to do things for you?'' He asked quietly. Was I imagining the hurt tone in his voice? The truth was I'd never considered that Inuyasha enjoyed doing kind things for me. I'd always thought he'd done those things because he felt like he had to. I loved doing things for him, but I'd never considered that maybe he felt the same way.

''No, I haven't. I still have trouble believing anyone can love a monster like me. I always thought you did those things because you felt like you had to.'' I whispered guiltily. Inuyasha pulled away and glared at me. I flinched even though he hadn't actually touched me.

''So I can't do anything out of the kindness of my heart? I have to feel obligated? I can't love you? You're my mate, Masamori! Why do I have to feel obligated to do nice things for you?'' He spat. I winced. Is that how he thought I felt? Anger replaced the sorrow. I glared at him all the while resisting the urge to cry.

''Is that how you think I feel? After all we've been through? How could you even consider something like that? I didn't mean that you have to feel obligated! I just mean I never understood why you were so kind to me! I've spent my entire life hating myself!''

**Sodom: **YAY! Well, until next time! Bye!

**Emo: **R&R!


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